Sunday, May 25, 2008
is it me or what??
i've been shedding lotsa tears these days dat i just feel like running away from this house to have a peace of mind..but i know that running away from your problems wont do me any good..am i the one who has been extremely bad towards my mum or is it just her being naggy about evrything?? ive tried real hard to make things go her way but i cant be giving in to her all the time..i need someone to atleast understand me and my needs. i clearly understand that i shud be working and yet im not.but its not as if im not looking for a job..ive seek high and low for a job to accomodate me and my family i future..sometimes i dont know what ive done wrong that caused her to be extremely angry at me..she say harsh things to me without even thinking.i just kept quiet all this while cause i dont cause any further qualms between us..but as soon as i put out the fire, it just keeps roaring in to me..can anyone please tell me what i shud do?? i need advice from evry different people right now.should i continue to be patient just because she is my mum or should i confront her and talk things out??i told my sisters bout it and all they said was to be patient.but they have no idea whats going on inside the mind of a 20-year-old lady..i was on the verge of giving up already but something stopped me..she likes to branch out on lotsa otha matters which is not even part of the conversation..from the house chores to my job-hunting and even to my bgr..what more am i suppose to do to satisfy her?? i just need some time to look for the right job and there she is pushing me in silent, inserting harsh words into my mind..im not tryna make her sound so bad in this entry but i really wanted to vent things out..ive had enough so far and more will come in future..it will never stop until she is really satisfied.im very sure of that cause ive been living with her for nearly 20 years now..
the only people whom i want to talk to and pour my feelings out to is definitely Shila and that bf of mine..but i know She is tight up with work and she is starting school soon..while my bf is busy working..i dont wanna make him tired listening to me whine all the times..but seriously, i need these 2 wonderfull people badly and i mean it.