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Friday, February 29, 2008
f**king pissed!!!

im sick and tired of having people talking shits into my head..all i didn't do was housework..which is somehow because im either studying, blogging or just lazy to do them..but just because i don't do housework, it doesnt make me the most targeted person at home..some people just like to drag other issues that are non-related..seriously speaking, what has housework got to do with my education?? there is no link at all am i right?? cant i just have my own private time?? some people brag about me not having to go into poly..and that is the last thing i wanna hear from her mouth.if you are tired of working, just say so..u dont have to say things that can pull my confidence away..yes..i know i havent been a good person at home, but i know what my responsibilities are..you dont have to nag bout such issues with me right now..im just about to turn 20 and i have people talking to me about house bills and responsibilities over my parents..please lahh..its not as if i dont think bour you people at home, why cant people just understand me?? you expect me to understand you yet you dont even let me speak..and now, you are telling me not to talk to you..i can do whatever i want to..if you are tired, then take a rest..no one is pushing you..you are pressurising yourself..it feels really weird when we arent talking but we are in the same room..

i may not be the best daughter ever, but i really really love you..whenever you say discouraging words like you have already said, it hurts me inside...im not the kinda person who shows off my pain, but i think you should know me better than anyone else..i wanna take care of you even when im married one fine day..i seriously know what my responsibilities are..i just need time for myself..by saying all this shits and acting as if i dont exist at home, you make me feel like im not loved by you..i feel really sad whenver you say things like i dont have to study anymore..i have to work and earn a living for the family..i will get married and leave you..i dont even know what my future is like for me..so why are saying such things to me?? i admit, ever since im attached, my attention isnt at home..but i thought you would understand me..why is it that when it was Big and Ttik time, you didnt make a huge fuss?? everyone makes mistake.everyone tell lies..i tried my best to be honest with you all this while and i think i did..

you know what, i shouldnt be bragging bout this here..at this moment of time, i just wanna be understood..and i seriously need a shoulder to lean on..