Tuesday, March 9, 2010
story of my departed love life.
dear iker,
29th june 2009. the day you left for brunei to serve the nation for a year. at first, i thought that it would be easy for me to handle, but i was wrong. little did you know, the moment you were onboard the plane and sent me your last message, tears immediately went down my cheeks. i was lucky fida and yati was there to coax me, otherwise i'll probably cause a monsoon in singapore.
the second week after you left, i remembered crying overnight as i sent you a message, telling you how much i missed you. you replied me with simple encouraging and strong words. as days, weeks and months goes by, i endured being apart from you. i knew i was able to last without having you around but a girl has her emotional moments and despite staying strong, i know i've got a weak heart.
i was so used to going out on the weekends with you, playing a fool and being silly with you and when you're not around, it felt different. then quietly, 08th november 2009 came and you surprised me with a call - from your singapore number. at first i thought i was dreaming, that i stared in disbelief and rubbed my eyes t ensure that i wasn't dreaming. you asked me to look down at my carpark and there it was, your kr, staring at me. i looked for you and there you were, sitting and smiling while you talked to me. and yes, i remembered laughing vulgarities to you cause i was too happy that all i could think of was to 'maki' you for waking me up a wonderful and happy surprise. i had a great time with you despite having a small argument within the same week. but time flied and before we both know it, you had to leave for brunei. again. what made this departure a more heart-wrenching event was that you left me for the second time and that to on the 15th november 2009. i swear i cried the moment i reached home. this time it was worse than the first.
as days goes by, we continued communicating until one day, you had to break another 'you-make-me-unhappy' news. like i mentioned earlier, you had to be in brunei for a year which is officially till end of june 2010. but you were just so 'fortunate' that your stay was extended till august 2010.
do you know what that means? this means that after 15th november 2009, we'll only be able to meet 9 months later. that's close to a year! this is indeed a test of our relationship's strength. many have said that they wouldn't be able to withstand a long-distance realtionship and they'll call it quits. many have also said that i was or rather, am strong for this. do they even know how much tears i've cried and how strong my grip was on life? i knew i could overcome all this and i hope i will. it's been close to nine months now that you're away and i'm happy to say that even though i cry on every random nights, i'm still standing strong.
~ absence makes the heart grow fonder ~
i stand strong upon this phrase cause i noticed a difference in you. a good difference. all those small talks of big dreams makes me grin whenever i reminisce those moments.
baby, you have made the deepest impact on my life thus far. despite having one or two mishaps, you still stood there for me. i apologise for ever hurting you while you're away. as much as i don't want time to fly, i really can't wait for august to come. we have big dreams for ourselves so please get back soon safe and sound and we'll do our best to work towards our goal.
nursaidimu'adzan, without a doubt, you're the best i ever had and i just can't stop myself from loving you. you are life and i love my life!
xoxo,
your girlfriend, sahidah!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
letters to you.
can't you see that i wanna be there with open arms?
it's empty tonight and i'm all alone
get me through this one
do you notice i'm gone?
where do you run to so far away
i want you to know that i miss you so, i miss you so
i'm writing again, these letters to you
not much i know
but i'm not sleeping and you're not here
the thought stops my heart
meaningful to the max!
